Part one of a continuing series on political facial fuzz
Breaking the Presidential "Beard Barrier" - Grace Bedell is an unsung hero of American history. On October 15, 1860, she wrote an impassioned letter to then candidate Abraham Lincoln urging him to grow a beard in order to hide his somewhat sickly countenance. The letter apparently worked, because less than a month later then President Lincoln was sporting American history's most famous beard, a somewhat Amish chinstrap variety he'd wear till the end of his life.
Until Lincoln's fateful decision, no American president had dared to delve beyond the hirsute half-measure of sideburns (worn by Washington, Jefferson, J. Q. Adams, Van Buren, Polk and Taylor).
Speaking of Sideburns - What did they call sideburns before General Ambrose Burnside? I don't know, but it isn't too difficult to recognize that naming a whole genre of facial hair configurations after this man was not only appropriate, but inevitable.
Ambrose would ride the coattails of his formidable mutton chops on into his postbellum career, including two terms representing Rhode Island as a U.S. Senator. Some say that Burnside could have accomplished even more if he hadn't been committed to a couple hours of daily whisker grooming. What these cynics fail to take into account, though, was the time he saved on maintenance of his coiffure.
"Grow West, Young Man" - Horace Greeley was a newspaper editor, founder of the Liberal Republican Party, reformer, politician, outspoken opponent of slavery, and wearer of perhaps the most eccentric variety of facial hair of his or any day. Although, to call it "facial hair" would be to deny its basic genius, in that none of it actually resided on his face.
Clearly a man who forged his own path, Greeley opted to grow a whispy, downy, and luxuriant neck-beard that was the envy of Alpaca enthusiasts from the Andes to the Rocky mountains. Legend has it that Greeley, an avowed spendthrift, decided to grow the kitten-fur like mane so as to save on both shaving supplies and scarves.
Interesting side-note: I've been told by an accomplished backpacker friend of mine that if Greeley's throat fur were used to fill a sleeping bag, it would be a more efficient filling than premium goose-down, and would probably be rated for temperatures as extreme as -40° Celcius.
Replete in Defeat - When life hands you lemons, sometimes you just got to throw those lemons aside, unplug the internet you invented, and grow a Grisly Adams-worthy beard. Such was the case when Al Gore emerged from his post-Florida recount self-imposed exile with a beard that said to the world "what's the point of even trying anymore?"
Gore must have been reeling from the disappointment when he threw his Norelco into a lockbox and decided to reduce his carbon faceprint.
